"Oh, crap."

I'm tired.  This week has kicked my butt. 

On Monday evening, Taylor wasn't feeling so hot.  We had just finished dinner and the girls wanted to go outside and play.  I went out with them to do a little yard work between swing pushes.  Taylor started moaning and rubbing her tummy.  I asked her if she was going to throw up... no.  I asked her if she had to go poop... no.  Touched her head... cool.  She's fine, just ate too much, right?  She climbs to the top of the slide.  I have my back to her as I am cursing the squirrels and/or bunnies for yet another half eaten tomato, when suddenly Jaden screams.  I turn around and am flashing back to the days of chillin' on the couch at Mom and Dad's watching Double Dare.  Taylor diarrhea'd down the slide!  I scoop her up and tell her to STAND STILL and don't touch the poop!  I run inside, lay a diaper pad down, and start running a bath.  I go outside and Mike is swatting flies away (why do flies like to eat poop??)  Taylor is upset and feeling a little crappy (hehe!)  I get her all cleaned up and back outside we go!  Now, what on earth do I do with poopy pants?  Teach those darned squirrels a lesson, that's what!  This is where it gets a little disgusting.  I sprayed her pants out right by my tomato plants because guess what Taylor had for dinner the night before... CORN.  Enjoy, my furry friends!  Bwahhaahhhahha (evil laugh)!

Well, apparently T had a little virus.  She was acting fine the next morning but didn't eat much of her breakfast.  Around noon, the babysitter called me.  Taylor was having "loose stools" again and wasn't feeling well.  I went to get the poor baby.  After her nap, she seemed to feel a little better. 

Jaden: "My tummy hurts."

Wednesday morning, I head to Walgreen's to pick up some children's Pepto.  Obviously Jaden wouldn't take it and Taylor cried because she wanted more.  No fevers + no throwing up = to the sitters.  Guess what?  They were fine!  No yucky reports for the day when Mike picked them up!

I went to Michigan for a little shopping trip with my mom that day.  I was literally two minutes away from home and Mike calls me, "You should probably go a different way because there is water coming up out of the street and kids (not ours) are playing in it."  I detoured around the block because the police had already taped off the water and were actually standing guard.  The girls had already eaten supper and were ready for bed.  We got them down and I went to make dinner for Mike and myself.  Spaghetti.  Small problem... the water had been turned off.  We called 311 and we were told, "There is a water main break on your street and because the children in the neighborhood were playing in the water, it needed to be turned off.  We wouldn't want a child to slip and be run over by a vehicle or drown."  So basically because parents have no control over their kids (or just don't care) we don't have water... nice.  They estimated that the water would be turned back on around 1:30 a.m.  We opt for Pizza Hut take-out.

After dinner and a little Big Brother, the storms start up.  It is pouring down rain and really windy.  All of a sudden, darkness.  The power went out.  J cries because the storms woke her up and she is scared.  It was really bad out.  We were tempted to go down to the basement, but I didn't want to wake Taylor up if it wasn't necessary.  So, Mike sat with Jaden and we both watched outside and listened for a tornado siren.  Eventually, the storm passed.  We called the electric company and they guessed that power would be restored around 2:30 a.m. 

No water.  No power.  Nice.

Everything was back to normal the next morning!  The shower spit some yellow water at first, but then it was ok!  After work, we came home and had spaghetti.  Mike's mom was on her way over so we could go to a meeting at J's preschool.  I went to do dishes and again, no water.  Luckily, it was turned on by the time we got home so the girls could get a bath. 

It's been a tiring week.

BUT, I did get some good news!  Disney Family Fun saw my post on the Hit The Road badge and loved our road map idea!  They want to feature it in their next issue along with a picture of my girls!  You all will have to go out and buy the October issue when it comes out so you can see these cuties:

Way to go, girls! 

TGIF...

I'm DONE.

WARNING: Graphic content. 

 If this photo was my life, Jaden would be the fat kid, Mike is Miss Tri-County, and I am that lovely, chunk-covered man.  I have seen and touched and smelled and caught and cleaned more vomit and diarrhea in the past week than I have in my whole life!  I am done. 

We have all had a stomach bug.  It has not been fun in any way, shape, or form (except for the five pounds lost!)  I thought things were looking up yesterday.  I thought we had all flushed it out of our systems... until the girls had a cup of milk... WHOLE milk.  I knew it wouldn't be pretty.  I knew I should have said no.  I knew it wasn't a great idea.  Last night Jaden called from her bedroom.  She had to poop.  Her poor stomach was gurgling and turning.  I knelt down in front of her, rubbing her back and telling her it would be ok.  That's when I saw that look in her eyes.  They glassed over and her lips puckered.  I immediately jumped back as far as I could in the three feet that is our bathroom JUST in time for her to spew sour, partially digested, curdled milk all over!  By this point, I am pretty used to the smell of vomit.  I don't have a problem cleaning it up.  This?  This was RANK.  It was the worst smelling vomit I have ever smelled in my life... EVER (and I partied with a lot of lightweights in college)!  It went everywhere.  I got it all cleaned up and got J back into bed.  She said her tummy felt better :o)

Fast forward about three hours.  Mike and I are sleeping peacefully (for a whopping 20 minutes) when we hear Taylor sobbing.  Mike goes in and then yells for me.  Oh.dear.god.  SHE also puked all over herself and all three of her blankets!  The SAME sour curdled milk.  The same vomit-inducing smell that finally dissipated from the hallway and bathroom now filled her bedroom.

Can we get a break, please?  Can for one night, everyone sleep and leave all bodily fluids (and chunks) where they belong?  Can someone please buy me a new mixing bowl because I don't think I can ever bake with the puke bowl again.

I'm real... like Jenny from the block

I've recently read a number of posts by other bloggers on the appearance of perfection that is perceived through the blog world. Typically this from mom bloggers.  Do I think my life is perfect?  Yes.  I think that I have the perfect life for me. I know I am not a perfect wife or mom but I do what I can for my family and love them to pieces.  I like to do crafts and yes, when I'm not pulling my hair out trying to get ready for the Home & Garden Show, I usually do at least one craft a week.  I like to cook and since I'm the only one in my family that knows how, I do it quite often.  I try to make a home cooked dinner for my family every night.  Do I always have a new elaborate recipe?  Nah... Sometimes we have Hamburger Helper.  One thing that you can be sure of, our house will always be clean.  We have a great routine that makes housework seem like not such a horrible task.  Also, Mike is slightly obsessed (in a good way!) about it... which has rubbed off on both of my girls. 

Yesterday, I was getting Jaden's breakfast for her.  Thanks to Taylor, I was only half awake.  I totally knocked Jaden's full cup of milk over and of all places, it spilled down the crack between the counter and the stove.  Jaden immediately asked if she needed to go get Dad.  Um, pretty sure I can handle this one.  I needed to pull out the stove.  Before you look at these photos, let me just say that we have lived in our house for coming on five years.  We had two cats for over 3½ of those years; now just one.  We have NEVER pulled out our stove.  Ever.  Not even to paint (which we did before we moved in).  So bloggers, here is the behind the scenes of my "perfect" life:

Cat hair, dust, spider webs, milk carton rings, goldfish crackers, spilled milk, other random spilled nastiness on the side of the stove....

"Uh-oh! UCK!"

Thanks to my trusty pals, the mess was cleaned up and smelling fresh in no time!

Check out the third cat I swept up!

Ah... much better.  I should have grabbed the yellow paint while I was back there.  Oh well, maybe when I pull it out again in five years... KIDDING.

She's out to get me!

Have I NOT said before how Taylor is my "wild child"??  Well, I was cleaning up after dinner yesterday and the girls were playing in Taylor's room.  When they are in there, I close the other bedroom doors, the bathroom door, and shut the gate so they (Taylor) stay in one room only.  Well, last night, Jaden needed to go potty.  I put the trash can up on the sink because Taylor has been known to dump it.  I'm back in the kitchen and Jaden starts yelling, "Mom!  Taylor is in the bathroom!"  I tell her that she is fine because I DID put the trash can out of reach... no problems, right?  Seconds later... "Mom!  Get Taylor!"  "She's fine, Jaden!"  Once again, "MOM!!!  TAYLOR HAS THE PAPER TOWEL!!"  ohdeargod.

She TP'd the bathroom.  I start cleaning it up and before long, I hear a crash of magnets in the kitchen. Crap!  I left the gate open.

She is so skilled in magnet removal that she can get them all in one swipe!  So, I start cleaning the magnets up and I notice Taylor is not around.  Sometimes quiet isn't a good thing...

Good thing she's a cutie or she'd be OUTTA HERE!

In other news...

I'm on day 3 of feeling like crap.  Mike and I were laying in bed last night and said, "What the heck was that?!?!"  um yeah... The noise he was referring to was most definitely my stomach attacking my insides.  Whatever kind of bug I have NEEDS to be gone by this weekend!  Ugh...

Also, check out this hand!

Somehow I bruised the heck out of my hand!  That picture was yesterday.  I think it might be looking a little better today...

I don't understand how I got his bruise or why it is shaped like a "C" but it hurts!