Friday, December 18, 2009

My Blue Christmas

Today is not a good day. I'm just kind of down in the dumps. Christmas is a week away and instead of driving around looking at lights or watching Christmas specials with J, I am at the absolute end of my rope. I feel like there is still so much to get done. Instead, I go to work at my crap job and waste my time for 8 hours. All I do is sit there and wait to get home to get stuff done. I'm hoping that 2010 will bring new opportunities for me...

Last night sucked. Within minutes of walking through the door, both girls were crying... for no reason. I feel like I am truly at my breaking point. I'm spreading myself too thin and need a break. I don't care what people say, being a mom is hard. Wait, let me clarify that... Being a GOOD mom is hard. Earlier this week, I was told, "It's not hard, Shannon. They're just kids." They just take so much of my energy! By the time I get them both down for bed, all I want to do is crash but I can't because then how will things get done around the house?

I have two family Christmases tomorrow. I have food to get ready for those and gifts to finish and wrap. I want to get all of my projects finished so I can actually sit back and relax and enjoy the holidays. I want to make cut-out cookies with J. I absolutely hate when she asks me if I will play with her toys with her and I have to tell her that I can't because I don't have time. Do you know how hard it is for me to do that? In all honesty, I'm about finished with my projects for Christmas. I feel like I'll be able to finish them tonight. I hope that next week will be all of the fun things that make me excited about Christmas.

Oh yeah, don't forget to vote for my Christmas card here! Forget what it looks like? See it here!

7 comments:

Kristen said...

sorry girl, it's definitely rough when you add a 2nd child to the mix. You're right, no one can ever prepare you for how hard being a mom is and those that think it is easy are probably missing the "good" mom factor! Hang in there lady, let your husband help out, and remember that your family is most important. The house work will wait another day! It took me awhile to figure that out but it seems like everything works smoother if I remind myself of that. Merry Christmas!

Kelly said...

Oh Shannon... I can totally understand how you must be feeling. I sometimes have a hard time with one six year old, and I can't imagine how it is with two kids under the age of three. I wish there were more I could do to help. I am on break for three weeks from school. I will be working during the day, but PLEASE do not hesitate to call me. I'd love to bring my little helper over to come play. I want so badly to be closer to the girls and there is no good reason why I'm not. I can't wait to spend the holidays with you guys. Please call me, even if you just need to vent.

Dollface said...

I am sooo sorry you are sad right now. Its hard to feel overwhelmed. Is there a way to take some time off from work so that you can get things done? Maybe have a family member or close friend babysit for the day so you can get a massage? Do you want me to fly there and help you out... anything you need let me know!! xxxoo

amanda bee said...

Hugs sweet girl. I'm sorry life is so hectic right now. You are an amazing mommy!!

Jackie said...

You are the mom I want to be in the future. You are a great wife, have two gorgeous and well behaved little girls, have more creativity in your pinky than the rest of us could only dream of and you are a wonderful friend. Cheer up hun! I can't wait to see you next week and give you a great big hug :)

Max Teders said...

Hang in there sweetie. I'm off for the next 2 weeks. Call me anytime if you would like a hand. I have a strong back, weak mind and I love playing with little kids!!

Linda @ Craftaholics Anonymous said...

Don't be so hard on yourself!! Seriously. You rock girl.

And if you have a second, I'm having a linky party for the Gift Exchange I hosted earlier this month. Come link up a pic of the gift you received. We'd love to see what you got! But I completely understand if you don't have time with it being the holidays and all.

Take care!!
Linda