NOT getting fat on purpose! Stop Googling me!

Ok people, let's get one thing straight.  I AM NOT GETTING FAT ON PURPOSE!  It is true that since I've said bye-bye to the roaring twenties, I've bought about SEVEN extra pounds to the table.  BUT, I did not try to do that, nor can I shed them for whatever reason.  I do not understand these types of people.  If you really are researching the web to find a source on how to get fat on purpose, THIS IS NOT THE PLACE!  Try here instead: Deciding to Get Fat. Then, comment and tell me why on earth you are doing so.  I'm sure those of you that did not find my blog while researching how to get fat on purpose are wondering what in the world I'm talking about, right?  Check the stats:

Stats from YESTERDAY

Stats from LAST WEEK

Stats for the month of AUGUST

Stats from when Blogger decided to start tracking this stuff

Seriously.  I Googled it.  I didn't see my blog on the first page, BUT I was the first IMAGE RESULT!!

Ha!  Yeah...  I'm sure people are pretty disappointed to find out I was PREGNANT!  I'm sure this post will put me on Google's first page though.  Actually, if this post landed you here because you are in fact, trying to get fat on purpose, email me!  I'd love to feature your story!  I mean, people are already coming here for direction.  I might as well give them some useful info!  Until then, stay skinny blogland!!

Hamburger Cookies feat. Chuck Norris

First of all, let me apologize for the sloppiest tutorial that has ever been or will ever be on this blog.  I don't know about you all but... gah!  These days are LONG and I'm spent... Nevermind the fact that this humidity has made me look like a Q-tip.  BUT, on the positive side, this post has been brought to you in part by the fame of Chuck Norris (I'm totally not even joking.)

This treat is perfect for upcoming summer cookouts!  I sent these to work with Mike and well yeah, his co-workers LOVED them!

Ingredients:

Chuck Norris Kroger Reduced Fat Vanilla Wafers*

(regular Nilla Wafers work just as well)

Keebler Grasshopper cookies

White Frosting

coconut

food coloring

1 egg

sesame seeds

Embarrassed at the sloppiness... shame.

First, pair up your wafer cookies.  Make sure you have enough pairs for each of the Grasshoppers.

Next, tint some of your frosting orange, like cheese!  Spread this on one of your cookies.  I like to use a decorator bottle because it takes minutes to do and is way less messier!  But, see the pic below?  Yeah, use about twice that amount of icing.

Place your grasshoppers on top of your icing cheese.  Had I used more icing, my cheese would have shown a little more.

Then, tint some more frosting red for ketchup.  Squirt this on your burger cookie.

Next, add a few drops of green food coloring to the shredded coconut.  Cover and shake it baby, shake it!  Now you have lettuce!

Top your burgers...

Add a little more "ketchup" to the top "bun" so it will stick to the coconut.

Lastly, paint the top bun of your burgers with egg white and sprinkle with sesame seeds.  If you're one of those moms that are against raw eggs and don't even let the kiddos eat cookie dough (not saying there is anything wrong with that!), you can use orange juice concentrate instead of egg whites.

There you have it!  Itty bitty burger cookies!

*Are you wondering where Chuck Norris fits in to all of this?  Well, you're not alone... I'm completely stumped too.  You see, I have an ap on my phone that allows me to scan the bar codes on food products and it will tell me the number of Weight Watchers points per serving.  I scanned the cookies and well, just look for yourself:

WTH??

We went to the store this week and I scanned another box... same thing!  So weird.

Anyway, enjoy!

I'm linking this to my favorite linky parties!