Friday, January 14, 2011

When the moon is in the seventh hour, and Jupiter aligns with Mars...

I don't believe in horoscopes.  People that do, I believe, read their horoscopes and stretch their reality to be able to say, "That happened to me!"  Having said that, I have known for as long as I can remember that I am a Capricorn.  I can recognize my symbol and know that I'm a goat.  I have no idea what type of person a Capricorn is supposed to be or what sign I am supposed to be compatible with.  I have no idea what Mike's, Jaden's, or Taylor's signs are.  I just know that I'm a Capricorn....

I was a Capricorn.
I'm no longer a Capricorn.
I'm a Sagittarius.

Apparently, as the Earth and sun slowly move, the signs gradually change.  Three thousand years ago, 12 zodiac signs were assigned for 12 different periods of the year.  Now, there are 13 signs.  I don't know what that means, I don't care what that means.  Probably the end of the world ;o)

I believe I upgraded!  No longer am I a goat.  Now, I am half human, half horse!  According to my friend, Wiki, Sagittarius is the sign of the zodiac mainly concerned with philosophy, higher education and global thinking... Oh my gosh, I thought about the world yesterday!  That was so Sagittarius of me.  Because Sagittarius is a mutable sign, they are generally very adaptable philosophically because they seek to understand the world from a higher perspective (aka former professional wrestler, Jesse "The Body" Ventura) and are perspicacious in finding higher meanings through their varied encounters.  Also, I am now optimistic... must be the reason I decided to become Amish on 12-21-12.

Here are the new dates for the zodiac signs:
Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

Mike gets to be the new Ophiuchus!  He's a snake holder. 

Have a great weekend!


Jenny said...

well maybe this now explains everything....
I am on the EDGE? PEAK? TOP? BRIM? as an AriesTaurus
Explain that one, oh great philosopher from your high perspective!

Lala said...

This is all a bunch of crap. I refuse to change signs or accept that Josh is a brand new sign that I can't even pronounce. Blissfully ignorant, I tell you!

amanda bee said...

What?!? So I've converted to your old sign - no longer an Aquarius! And Michael is a snake holder too? And Rosie is a Virgo? What is happening!?!?!?

Kelly said...

I'm with Lala on this one - blissfully ignorant. But I will say, this is hilarious!

Kristen said...

I choose to still be a Libra!

Lora said...

I guess the tattoo removal will see some business with this announcement LOL.

Llama said...

Some days I wanna believe... and some I don' can choose which ones to believe right?! :)

LeeAnn said...

thats crazy! i guess i'm a Sagittarius now too???

Mo 'Betta said...

I saw this on another blogger's post....holy crap, I've been a Leo for 38 yrs and now I'm a Cancer?! I don't think so. I'm so a Leo. Who makes this crap up anyway!?